Emotional intelligence and leadership

We live in a world obsessed with intelligence. In the university system, one talks of rankings of institutions, grades and all kinds of ways to separate the intelligent and the slow. We even assume that the Ivy-educated will most definitely always make it in life. I have news for you! It’s not always the case. Now research shows that 75% of one's professional success is determined more by emotional intelligence (EQ) and less by mental intelligence-what we normally call IQ.EQ is a an intelligence that is fairly new in literature though as old as humantiy.People like Stephen Covey and Daniel Goleman have written remarkable books covering the subject.

Put simply, it explains the way a person handles their emotions within the confines of dignity. Over the course of my short life,l have met classmates who were very smart but no one wanted befriend or even hang out with them.Noone could deny their brilliance but they usually lose opportunities because people didn’t like their 'attitude', 'temper' and or 'disposition’. Even in the work environment, a lot of people fail to progress simply because e of the way they express and manage their emotions.Noone wants to work with emotional wrecks.
This is pertinent to leadership because leaders are usually faced with many daunting tasks that require nerves or broad shoulders.EQ is divided into three areas namely emotional awareness, emotional management and emotional sensitivity. Some people actually talk of more.
Emotional awareness is somewhat self explanatory in that it challenges the leader to be aware of their emotional make up. This is not as obvious as it sounds on surface. Being of aware of who you are helps you manage your behavior in critical moments. A short tempered person needs to be 'aware' of that and make sure they know when to stop in arguements.EA is important in explaining people's reactions to situations. Have you ever wondered why some leaders seem to blow everything out of proportion? I know of a prominent war veteran in Zimbabwe who fought gallantly during the war of liberation. His family was killed by the white minority government of Ian Smith. As late as 2005, he witnessed a car accident in which a white lady driving a car in the Harare city centre accidentally hit a black man just walking by. The man wasn’t hurt and they settled the issue amicably. The war veteran saw this happening and came charging literally to the point of hitting the lady. He started shouting obscenities at a place where peace was reigning. Passer bys stood perplexed because he was neither a victim nor invited to the discussion. What happened with the man was that he never dealt with his emotions of anger of losing his family to the extent that to this day, each day he sees a white person and a black person discussing or arguing, he has the propensity to attack the white person. Imagine if such a person becomes a President?Unfortuantely,a lot of nations, families and companies are led by people who are not emotionally self aware through analyzing their background .Consequently, a crisis tends to shake them and expose the deep seated unresolved issues in their subconscious mind. I read in the newspaper of a lady who used to hate all men with dreadlocks because she was once raped by a man with dreadlocks. As a leader, one has to be particularly aware of any deep seated negative emotions and deal with it. I know this is a huge subject on its own. Usually when you don’t deal with an issue, it explodes when you least want it to.

Second aspect of EQ is emotional management which deals with impulse control issues and control strong emotions of anger or even joy among other things. Many times we talk of anger management but we forget that some people are as destructive when angry as they are when happy! The trick is to where possible to always try not to make big decisions when extremely angry or happy-such emotions can cloud judgement.Some overjoyed people can be very naïve and gullible. Joy management is critical in negotiation. When you are close to sealing the biggest deal of your life, how does your body language show? Some get so happy that they freak out the other person they are negotiating with and they end up changing their mind! Imagine being a peace negotiator in a war torn country and you strike a deal midnight. What do you feel? Some immediately text everyone on phones and within an hour, delicate information is in the press and you scuttle the entire process.EQ experts like Covey even talk of impulse control with reference to control of sexual urges. Need l say more? Need l give examples of great people who essentially lost it for failing to manage this impulse? Regrettably a lot of people underestimate the importance of impulse control.

To remedy all this, consider clarifying your values and learn to stick to them. Consider among other things, auto suggestion or neurolinguistic programming, have a realistic set of goals and ‘making conscious effort’ to work towards emotional management. Seize making excuses of emotional outbursts.Folks like Kanye West,Joe Wilson and many others are classically examples of how not to conduct yourself as a leader.You might retract you statements but the damage would already be done. It doesn’t get you anywhere.

The last tenet of EQ is emotional sensitivity. This is empathy. World renowned leadership expert John Maxwell says ‘people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care’. Leaders are sensitive to the needs of others. They don’t say things that are unnecessarily confrontational. They respect others. In his EQ classic Daniel Goleman sees this as relational intelligence in a way. Sensitive people usually exude a positive aura around their orbit. They attract and not repel. As a leader the last thing you want to do is to attract.

In conclusion, in this piece, l am simply encouraging the leader to be self aware, and then to learn to control self and to be ‘relationally sweet’. I can assure you that if you do well with EQ you substantially improve your leadership capacity. All the best!